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This is how I'd sell a car, or truck, to myself. To begin... I would never buy a car that carries in its advertising a tag line that claims the vehicle 'kicks butt'. (Ford Fusion television ad - 16 January 2006) That's an automatic disqualifier for me. My loathing of the expression, 'kicks butt', cannot be overstated. Actually, any product that falls back on the 'kick butt' mindset in its advertising will never be purchased by yours truly. Back to selling me a car. Don't always show me a silver car. Too many people drive silver cars, and around the Carolinas, silver cars can end up being dangerous. When the fog rolls down from the Blue Ridge Mountains, or in from the Atlantic, I'll give you one guess which color car is nearly impossible for other drivers to see. This goes also for silver cars in rainstorms. I've noticed many times the drivers of silver cars, when driving in rain and fog conditions, seem oblivious to the environment and fail to turn on their lights. Without their lights on in a storm, silver cars are virtually invisible. The other reason I care not to be advertised a silver car is that silver just isn't exciting... unless, that is, it graces a Porsche, an Aston-Martin or, amazingly enough, the revamped 2006 Toyota Camry. Please (speaking to myself) don't sell me a car by showing me high-powered graphic imagery and animation. Showing me a Mercury with some kind of human-rejection force field around it is stupid nonsense. Why not show me mechanical-electrical things that make the Mercury a better deal for me to buy? Showing me a silver SUV tearing up an animated mythical eco-scape and relating the voice over message to an infusion of automotive testosterone that results in 'kick butt' (there I go again) performance, is an immediate channel flipper for this viewer. Why not take the SUVs off the showroom floor - place them side-by-side at a closed circuit race starting line - and then at the drop of a flag, let's just see which one is the fastest on a timed run? Same vehicles; this time on an off-road course. Let's see which one comes in first. Same goes for cars... line 'em up at the head of a 500-mile course, and let's see which one comes in first, and which one does it with the least amount of mechanical and electrical malfunctions. The car that wins is the car I buy. Okay, let me go a step further in selling myself a car. I want to know about the front and rear suspension; the struts and shocks, ball joints and pinion gears. I'd show that stuff, and then I'd put various cars to the acid test: one month's driving in New York City, and then see which one retained its alignment and shock suppression and steering viability. The winner is the car I'd buy. You see where I'm going with this: I want to be sold on the merits of a vehicle and not be shoveled dream hype and achievement of faux culture and status. Instead of pap, I want to know how long a vehicle's brake system is going to hold up. I want to know about a suspension system that will, in fact, give me 30,000 more miles on my set of Michelin tires. I want to know about real-world mileage, and an air-conditioning system that will last for 200,000 miles, and an engine that can go 20,000 miles between synthetic oil changes. Tell me that stuff and I'll buy the car. Trucks today are sold on television using a basic theme. As I see the ads, the trucks are supposed to represent the male sex organ, and the accompanying voice-over copy leaves no doubt that only tough, ballsy men buy trucks - especially Ram trucks. Trucks are shown beating up the countryside, ripping the hell out of a hillside, doing 'donuts' on wet pavement, climbing terrain that most trucks would normally never get involved with - all for the purpose of an injection of truck testosterone. Sorry, folks, that kind of message won't get me to buy your truck. Whereas, Toyota truck ads show me important things. They depict side-by-side comparisons with Ford and Chevrolet that demonstrate Toyota's ability to take on a full load of bags of cement and, very important, full sheets of 4' x 8' plywood - a full-sized truck bed that allows the tail gate to close. That's real important! Or, Toyota's truck pulling a boat up a wet launching ramp while the competition fails in the task. That does it, folks, I'll buy your truck! Notice to the majority of car, truck and SUV advertisers: Don't try to impress me with gimmicky nothingness in your television and print ads. Don't attempt to dazzle me with graphics and sounds that pass for high-tech video games. Your vehicles today cost too much money and before I buy one of them, I've got to be reassured that I'm getting something of value; something reliable. Instead, impress me with information, facts and 'cut-to-the-chase' deals. That's how I'd sell a car to myself. |